Chloe

This was my first attempt to watch an Atom Egoyan film since Exotica way back in 1994. His reputation as a director with impeccable artistic vision and execution is something that might just sail above my head, because really, I didn’t see it then, and I’m not seeing it now.

Chloe is an erotic ... um, drama, I suppose as it is not particularly suspenseful or thrilling. It stars the smoking hot Julianne Moore as Catherine Stewart, a successful crotch doctor facing a sexual identity crisis as she’s become more of a voyeur in her own life rather than an active participant. Liam Neeson is her husband David, a relentless flirt, whose job teaching ... whatever it is he teaches, puts him in close contact with nubile college girls while spending a lot of time away from home. Amanda Seyfried is Chloe, an alluring call girl whom Catherine contracts to seduce, but not fuck, David, to see if he is the cheating douchebag she suspects him to be.

Make no mistake, this movie is sexy as hell. The energy of this movie during the erotic moments – particularly every scene Moore and Seyfried share – is perfect. Sexy but not crass, erotic but not dirty – a wonderful portrayal of adult sexuality. Having said that, there is a manufactured feeling to the rest of the movie. All the sex and nudity is great – Seyfried forever raises the bar for side boob greatness – but the relationships and fallout from said relationships left me cold. In fact, there were several points that flat out frustrated me.

The son – played by Max Thieriot – was really poorly written and I felt bad the actor was given such little to work with. Case in point – the Stewarts live in what can only be described as an architectural statement. This is not a house, it is a museum with family pictures. He gets along with his father, thinks is mother is annoying, is supported in everything he wishes to do and actually has caring parents who show up for his extra-curricular activities voluntarily. He has a hot young girlfriend who is allowed to spend the night in his bed, but when his parents have one – just one – argument, suddenly, he can’t wait to get out. Life must be so hard having all that money, support and pussy.

This might be considered a bit of a spoiler if you weren’t aware of the steamy love scene between Chloe and Catherine, upon which ALL of the buzz surrounding this movie was generated, but when Catherine reveals her affair to David, his reaction? Not rage, not disappointment. No, a reassuring embrace and an affectionate kiss is how he responds to this stunning betrayal. Seriously. FUCK OFF. That is so ridiculous it took my breath away. Go ahead ladies. Tell your significant other you paid a whore to seduce them but wound up fucking them instead and see how many of you get that loving hug and gentle kiss. If I told my fiancée this and all that happened to me was having my balls ripped off and fed to sewer rats, I’d consider that a successful transaction.

Maybe it’s my poverty, or lack of sophistication, but that is not how people behave. Perhaps being hugely successful and driving a Mercedes Benz and living in a $3 million + house and being impossibly beautiful for your age means that you can shrug off such a devastating moral breach of your marriage. To me that means you never gave a shit in the first place and renders the point of your relationship moot. That dramatically thins the story, reducing it to an excuse to get Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried naked and talking dirty to each other.

One last thing. I’ve never been to a gynaecologist, but it kinda creeped me out that Catherine’s office had so many windows in it. I just assume that is the kind of thing you want walls, curtains, thick wooden doors and perhaps a moat/draw bridge combination to maintain the privacy. Just saying.

I rate Chloe 3 out of 10.